Check this out: http://stooples.com/

Especially the catalogue section haha =)

Jules

My Practical Joke
It started with a visit to Halloween shop at Plymouth Meeting Mall, where I saw this fake piece of shit for $2. I realising the potential, grabbed it quick to have fun of my innocent friends..hehe..First planting in Jaron' shower there was no effect as he discovered it fast, only after poking it with his leg first. Wasn't a lot of fun putting it in Peiling' table as well, but I hit the jackpot when I placed it in my toilet next to the shitpot and moistened with some water. Following is the exact drama that happened between Me, Eric (E) and Ziliang (ZL):

Me : Ewwww..(loudly)...What the hell is on the floor...
E: (coming towards the toilet).. What issit..Issit a rat..Issit a dead rat..Tell me..(almost shivering)
Me: Take a look yourself..
E: (peeking)...Disgusting..Who shit on the floor..That too so nicely..yucksss...
Me: Call ZiLiang, probably he knows something about it..

(We all call ZiLiang and he comes and takes a look.)

ZL: That is disgusting..(collapses on the bed)..who did that..so nicely that too..
Me: Man it stinks bad

(And the "stink" suddenly appeared in everyone' minds.)

E & ZL: Damn it stinks.
E: I will get some incense sticks..somebody' gotta clear it.
ZL: You guys play Scissor,Paper , Stone..I will be the refree..

( And then took place an intense round of Scissor, Paper, Stone with Eric playing for his life. And my 2-1 lead vanished due to the extreme play skill of Eric motivated with the disgust with the piece of poo. He won it 3-2. And followed with the most amazing monkey jumps and bear hugs and soccer style celebrations which trust me Rooney wont do if he won the World Cup.)

E: You gotta clean it now..take all the tissue paper you need..I will cover you up with incense sticks (The most amazing strategic planning - am sure influenced by army days)
Me: Ok..lets do it.

(Having lost the game, and not been able to make Eric clean it, was a setback in my plans, so my mind was overthinking of what to do next)

Me: (flinging it on Eric, as if by accident) Disgusting....ooooops
E: You threw shit on me..you threw shit on me..you threw.........

(He went on and on wiping himself with tissues cleaning the "shit".)

Me: Hey dood,( picking it up by hands now)..this aint shit..this is just a joke...

I had one of the heartiest laughs I had in days and so had ZL, as Eric turned Pink and Red, and Blue and Yellow, and every color in embarassment and fun. Trust me I had fun, and I passed the thing to Kaihong for tricks on his family which I hope he puts on his blog. As MasterCard will put it.
Fake shit.. $2
Panic in house..priceless

Neeraj the Drunkard
Prof Jan was great! In fact, I think he's the best consulting professor anybody could possibly have. Friendly, caring, and humble, very handsome too haa. He invited us over for a bbq gathering at his house...and my goodness! His house is BIG. Oh, when I said big, it's doing his house a disservice. It's really BIG. Like 4 storeys high, and if he did not put a roof over he actually can have a sky garden? It's just gorgeous! Anyway, some of us have made the resolutions to become a professor at Upenn after looking at this house.

However, the topic of this blog is Neeraj the Drunkard, so I shall not bore you with all the fun stuff we did at Prof Jan's house. Gean recommended Monk's. It's a little bit crowded, but well, it's Sat night! So we squeeze ourselves into one tiny corner while waiting for our drink. Anyway, while waiting for our seats, we were standing around drinking some ale when this Mr Orh decided to steal some drinks. Needless to say he got chased out of the tavern. The tavern really seems like those tarvern in medieval age...even the music sounds like those played by bards. Only difference is we are not wearing armour. And no dwarves with flowing beards. But we have a drunkard. Here's the conversation after that sly Jaron faked Neeraj into downing 2 bottles of beer and 3 cups of some other alcohol:

N: Pass me that bottle.
J: No dude. It's empty.
N: I SAY PASS ME DAT BOTTLE.
J: ok ok! chill dude, chill!
Jaron passes the bottle. and the most amazing thing happened. Neeraj turned it over, and start hitting it like the instance when you cant get the ketchup out of the bottle. Anyway, the rest of us were laughing hilariously at this comical sight

J: Put that down! I told u it's empty.
N: (points to glass of plain water) What's this?
J: white wine dude. cheers. (Jaron gulps down that glass of plain water while that drunkard continues with his glass of beer. Girls, be careful of jaron...hee..)
N: (points at coke) What's this?
Me: that's coke dude.
N: COKE? WHO BOUGHT COKE?
Neeraj tried to pour coke into his beer
Estee: NO! NOT THE COKE!

...

time to pay....

J: dude, it's 70 bucks. take out your card.
N: 70 BUCKS! WHY SO EXPENSIVE?
aniwae, we tried to fake him into paying, but obviously he's still able to calculate while drunk...not a bad feat huh? The quality of a NCBVian...always alert even when drunk...

Aniwae, we did not manage to cheat him of his money although he claimed the next morning that he had no idea of what happened except acting like a merlion outside the tavern.

Seriously, Time is giving us lots of trouble. It refuses to budge during weekdays. Yah. If u try pushing him, he just stops there and stares at you, and then he says angrily "if you push me anymore I will die of exhaustion." No dude, you cannot die on us. If you die on us i will never get back to Singapore.

Hence I have to bear with the Old Man holding his old walking stick as he shuffled along.

BUT Time sometimes decided that he needs an exercise. So every Sat and Sun that nincompop decided to jog. And worst still, sometimes he RUNS. And he does that every Sat and Sun. So my precious weekends flashed by while my weekdays seem like an eternity walk.

To add on to the misery, I sit at my desk whole day long staring at the computer screen with images of my friends and family conjured up by my imagination right in front of me. And talking to a bunch of ppl on msn with the same fate as me. It's not so bad if I have things to do to pass time, but well...

Surely but slowly, my flight back to Singapore draws near. One year ago I never expected today to be like this. One year later, I wonder what will be my fate. Will anything change at all? Can I still go back to the nights where I had suppers with my friends?

And it is apparent that everybody misses Singapore, cause the talktime on the phone gets longer and longer. Some chat the whole night before going to bed, and continue chatting after they woke up. Others spent the whole time talking to the computer through skype or msn. And I am too tired to open my mouth. So I just stared at the computer screen and think of my family and friends.

America is great. I love the weather, the people, the culture...but I have decided Singapore is better. Coz my family and my friends are there. This is my family, these are my friends...we are Singapore, Singaporeans...

But I believe if I am in Singapore, I gonna miss America. Life is such an irony. Treasure what you have now ppl. That's the advice I give.

海内存知己,天涯若比邻.


kH

My Road Trip (Salem, Boston, US Open) I
(This part of the story will basically contain the incidents on the road. )

"Daddy, I am gonna drive ." ..Ok, she is just letting her parents know that she is driving.
"Hey Phebe, say a prayer for us." ..Hmmmm, must be kidding.
" Oh Lord, please bring us safely..........., Amen." Thats when the panic set. She is not kidding, She really meant when she asked us to pray. Damn it, I am so going to die. But since I cant do any better, what the hell , just buckle up and lets enjoy the ride.
Enjoy the ride I did, she drove with such grace and smooth, can put guys to shame.
After 300 tiring miles of driving, she changed drivers to come back seat and I was all praises and admire.
"Estee, you rock. You really did well. And you were not confident and everything, for what man?"
"Dude, I actually failed my driving test this Jan. Its just cos I cried to the instructor that he passed me."..
Stunned silence...
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
After a fulfilling day at Boston, we decide to head the way back to Mariott at Maple street. It was simple enough, at least according to Google Maps it was. And after it took us from our house to Salem in one piece, our belief in Google had reached God-like proportions. So we start driving back, only to find what Google says, the road signs do not. " Turn right", "Turn Left", "Go straight", with six people having six hundred instructions I pity Kaihong, our poor driver.
"Neeraj, my direction man, which turn?"
"Dood, your guess is as good as mine. We are hopelessly lost in some jungle. Why the fuck, cant they make Marriott in the city"
"Hey lets follow those 2 cars in front, they sure must be heading towards highway."
"Good idea Jaron, lets do it".
And you know how not all plans have the best results. The two cars split either way at the next fork and we were as always hopelessly lost again.
"Dood, thats Maple Street, Yesssssss... we made it."
As there were cheers all around the car with sighs of relief after an hour of hopeless driving. We could finally see the Marriott logo. The huge Green MARRIOTT LOGO.
"Wait a second guys, this isnt the same Marriott...".
And six of us were struck with the same realisation together
THEY HAVE ANOTHER MARRIOTT ON ANOTHER MAPLE STREET.
Screw you Americans, have some creativity.
And for God sake fewer Marriotts, cos trust me we saw at least 10 Mariotts in 3 days.
And yeah thanks Kaihong, you have the best instincts to bring us back every time we got lost.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
"We are going home..yay.."
"Kaihong be sure you take exit 3 ok..?"
"Yeah dood".
...
"Dood thats exit 3"
"Nice"
..
"DOOD.. YOU FUCKING MISSED THE EXIT. THE NEXT ONE IS 10 MILES OFF."
"Oops, so you meant me to take exit 3, I thought you showing it to me."..."Arrghhhhh..."
"Lets take exit 2, then routh 322 west, get back on 495 north and go home."
"Exit 2 must pay toll."
"Shit man, route 322 is haunted. No lights ..looks worse than the horor show movies. Fuck it lets go back north on I-95 and go back to route 3."
"Sir, can we not pay toll..cos we jus turning back?" We all sounded as innocent as we could.
"Guys, the more you use, the more you lose.hehe.."
..
Phone call from the other car.
"Guys, take exit 4 its closer we are ALMOST home. *static* "
"Cool lets go exit 4 then its 20 miles or something."
...
Call back to other car.
"So guys how from ext 4."..." Dont know we are lost ourselves".."Screw you guys".
Keep the phone down.
"Kaihong, lets go back exit 3 again. Those asses are lost themselves."
So after hours of switching between exits, paying more and more tolls everytime taking an exit and going back on the same goddamn highway, cursing Google map, cursing the other car folks..We reached home.
Thanks Kaihong, Estee Iris, Jaron for driving. Jaron, Kaihong, Estee for providing non-stop entertainment. For Ram to giving perfect directions some times.. and going hopelessly lost most..Eric for sleeping all the way and providing some dead weight on the car.. and yeah Phebe for you prayers..

(Will write more about the trip soon)

ALL HAIL TO OUR ONE AND ONLY SUPERHERO - MR STARCITE MAN!


That's our StarCite man!! He's the man and never let him catch you slacking at office else he is gonna give you a big wallop! Oh btw, the kids love him!


That's where I work! My little StarCite corner!

My Veblenian Nightmare
Going back to my USP modules, everytime I happen to see around, I always remember about Interpreting Consumerism. It was about different philosophies on consumerism and I keep remembering how I sucked at it, and hence hated it to the core. I remember Veblen especially, not so much because of his briliant philosophy but more due to the fact that his archaic english was too much for me. The theory that people consume so much because of social pressure, or according to him Conspicuous Consumption, and the associated Veblenian school of thought ; makes so much sense in here.Everywhere you see, there is more and more consumption and systems working to build the need for it. There are gigantuous malls here, in fact last time I visited Lowe' and found out the area to be 135000 sq feet. And there arent just one shop like this, they usually occur in clusters. And since cities cannot sustain their sizes they are built in suburbs. With people then having to drive there, means that they need massive parking lots. And trust me when I say massive, I am sure Indian airports arent as huge. It is a crazy world full of cars, because for them they are too busy. But with fuel prices rising to $3/ galleon, everyone is echoing the same angry sentiments only to not realise that they pay more for bottled water. Such irony.And coming back to what I was talking about, these people consume so much that they have no way to control. Necessity isnt the mother of invention here, Invention is the mother of necessity. I saw a walkman made to hear heart beat of babies when they are still in their mother' wombs.The trash bins here are full of stuff which you would find in homes in any other country in the world. People just outbuy themselves everytime and then throw everything. Its crazy. You wont be surprised to know that half my house has been furnished from the trash. Thats the Veblenian Nightmare one has to live in US, one cant be too cheap to not throw and one cant be too forgetful of one' roots to throw it.And yes, if any of you is still guessing who the professor for that dreaded module was - guys, he is an American.

It is a long break this weekend, with Labour Day on Monday, so we have decided to visit Boston, as well as New York for the US open.

Driving there seems like a good choice. More convenient too. And thus we decided on a certain company that we are used to. However, the management has changed and now are faced with a series of problems. The price is exorbitantly high, and certain previleges are removed. Like renting a bigger vehicle.

And the worst thing that pisses many of us off, is the difference in pricing that customer service gives. It is a different price everytime we ask, and somehow they do not understand the meaning of total cost, thus excluding the hidden costs like tax and whatsoever until the day we go down to settle payments and have no choice but to take that car.

Some companies insisted on credit cards payment...and why on earth will students have credit cards? Just like other services that insisted on seeing our credit histories, which obviously we do not have since we are new here, else they just refused to provide that service. All for the sake of the guarantee that we have the ability to pay.

This brings in the question of good customer service, and the value of good marketing strategies. Indeed, in such a competitive world, a company who can provide that little extra edge of customer satisfaction would soon be speeding ahead of the rest, for the satisfied customers will recommend the company to the rest. Same for reverse. A typical case of rich getting richer and poor getting poorer.

ok back to work...and wish all of us will have a fun time at Boston this weekend.

Ps. now if someone starts a roti prata shop here, he should be damn rich by now...

kh